1 VS 2

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As far as I can remember, we’ve been spending entire Saturdays outside, packed to the brim. Elise normally can handle this type of schedule without melting down, while Emmett will nap either in a stroller or carrier when he gets cranky. It was Elise’s turn to be cranky and I carried her in the SSC while holding Emmett’s hand and we were waiting for the bus when Emmett suddenly sprinted away from me in the direction towards the Zoo. Have you ever tried chasing after a 3yo? Emmett is like the reincarnation of Speedy Gonzales and I. COULD. NOT. CATCH. HIM.

I was carrying a heavy backpack and Elise while trying to chase him. Nobody in the opposite direction bothered to block him even after seeing us. I experienced the Bystander Effect. Not blaming them, it’s really none of their business. Until I saw a lady run after Emmett. I lost my balance and fell onto the floor. Emmett continued sprinting away. She continued giving chase and when I reached the entrance of the Zoo, I called out for him and saw her carrying him towards me. She also has two children herself aged 5 and 7 and she actually bothered to help a total stranger and asked me multiple times if I was alright before letting us go on our way. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Emmett was definitely overtired. He knocked out after another round of chiding.

Reflection:

1. Am I too stubborn by thinking I can handle two kids alone?

2. Emmett has done The Sprint before and apparently he “doesn’t know how to listen” even I’ve warned him. In fact, I’ve made sure to hold his hand for most of today.Any suggestions for correcting this behaviour other than smacking?

3. It seems like I’ll have to bring the stroller out next week onwards even though it’s 100x more cumbersome and harder to navigate public transport and take taxis with.

4. The Husband is not usually included in our Saturday trips because he will melt in the heat and I like my kids to be outdoors. We go to the Zoo so often because it’s a relatively controlled and enclosed environment as compared to a nature park with multiple trails.

5. An option is to spend a leisurely Saturday at home, but I feel like it’s a waste of precious time.

Helping Emmett Depressurise

*TRIGGER WARNING: Parenting Method *

Emmett is three going on four and he has the worst kind of meltdowns imaginable. He screams at the top of his lungs, kicks his legs around and tries to scratch others, the perfect display of “spoilt brat” behaviour. Coming from a family who used authoritarian disciplinary methods which involved hitting (think K-drama mom slaps), my husband strongly felt that Emmett needed to be frightened into obedience. I was caned as a child and it only made me more rebellious. I even took the cane wanting to whack the neighbour next door for being too noisy. I know I don’t want to go down that route. I cannot explain to my children how it is okay for their parents to hit them if they are not allowed to hit others.

Last night, Emmett melted down like an ice cube on a hot plate over a multitude of reason. My husband wanted to kick his bum and knuckle his head, so I shut the door. I held his hands and told him “No kicking. It hurts”, while waiting for him to depressurise. When he was done, he was still sobbing.

“Are you feeling okay now? Were you so angry because you couldn’t find your toy python? Do you want to look for it together? Just now, when you were angry, you scratched Appa and he’s injured. Why did you do that?”

“Because I don’t like it when he kicks my bum”

“Let’s tell him now.”

I brought him to my husband where Emmett apologised and hugged him. He told him “Don’t kick my bum next time!”.

My husband was incredulous because this Emmett was like an angel compared to his earlier state. ๐Ÿ˜‚There are people who vehemently insist that all children who are raised using RIE are “brats”.”I’m not abusive, those people are lucky their kids listen. Mine don’t, so I need to cane them”. This is certainly not a lazy method that lets kids grow up wild and without reins. Corporal punishment definitely produces quicker results – would you not listen if someone was hurting you? I told my husband that anger cannot be extinguished with anger.

Of course, we are a work-in-progress, so don’t give me the side eye if you see me snap and smack their bums. I lose it sometimes too.

Inserting Eye Prosthesis – Retinoblastoma

Elise’s doctors made a request a long time ago for a video of Elise inserting her prosthesis to show other young patients who have yet to undergo enucleation. The prosthesis isn’t supposed to be removed and inserted regularly, because it will cause her lower eyelid to weaken. If it’s too weak, it won’t be able to keep her prosthesis in place, so obviously I didn’t keep removing it for her to practice. We mostly waited.

Someday last week, it fell out when she rubbed it so I asked if she’d like to try fitting it in herself. In any case, it’s a skill she needs to learn.I’m proud of her positive attitude and bright personality. I don’t think it was passed down from either of us. I promptly sent the video to her doctors and gave them the permission to show it to their patients. Mission Accomplished.

Apparently, some of them visit my blog to find out more about retinoblastoma and enucleation. Honestly speaking, it’s not profitable and I post more on IG now, but I know that many parents and patients have found encouragement through my posts on the blog so I’ll try to keep it hosted or export all the content to a free site. I’m glad that we’re at least making a positive contribution to society in this aspect.

https://youtube.com/shorts/-91aHc9adE8