Helping Emmett Depressurise

*TRIGGER WARNING: Parenting Method *

Emmett is three going on four and he has the worst kind of meltdowns imaginable. He screams at the top of his lungs, kicks his legs around and tries to scratch others, the perfect display of “spoilt brat” behaviour. Coming from a family who used authoritarian disciplinary methods which involved hitting (think K-drama mom slaps), my husband strongly felt that Emmett needed to be frightened into obedience. I was caned as a child and it only made me more rebellious. I even took the cane wanting to whack the neighbour next door for being too noisy. I know I don’t want to go down that route. I cannot explain to my children how it is okay for their parents to hit them if they are not allowed to hit others.

Last night, Emmett melted down like an ice cube on a hot plate over a multitude of reason. My husband wanted to kick his bum and knuckle his head, so I shut the door. I held his hands and told him “No kicking. It hurts”, while waiting for him to depressurise. When he was done, he was still sobbing.

“Are you feeling okay now? Were you so angry because you couldn’t find your toy python? Do you want to look for it together? Just now, when you were angry, you scratched Appa and he’s injured. Why did you do that?”

“Because I don’t like it when he kicks my bum”

“Let’s tell him now.”

I brought him to my husband where Emmett apologised and hugged him. He told him “Don’t kick my bum next time!”.

My husband was incredulous because this Emmett was like an angel compared to his earlier state. 😂There are people who vehemently insist that all children who are raised using RIE are “brats”.”I’m not abusive, those people are lucky their kids listen. Mine don’t, so I need to cane them”. This is certainly not a lazy method that lets kids grow up wild and without reins. Corporal punishment definitely produces quicker results – would you not listen if someone was hurting you? I told my husband that anger cannot be extinguished with anger.

Of course, we are a work-in-progress, so don’t give me the side eye if you see me snap and smack their bums. I lose it sometimes too.

Leave a Reply